Dear mother in law.

A greeting begins a letter under usual circumstances, the proper way to address you eludes me. Mother in law are you friend if so Hello, family well then Hi hope everything is great, if otherwise...

To whom it may concern:
 
   This situation between us is difficult and that is not saying much, the way conversations between us have been it is apparent we will not be able to communicate with out disagreement but instead of pushing one another we can accept one another.  I realize the strength a supportive family can be, and I want my children to be raised in that sort of environment. Somewhere between getting to know you and family we stumbled upon the judgement hurdle and let our assumptions control a never ending argument. I consider the last years exchanges two woman struggling for power, the problem with that thought process is this shouldn't be a struggle it's not yours to command. We clearly play different roles, I am not giving mine up; I am the mother.

   Grandparents are amazing people who have a special place in a child's life, your advice is accepted and appreciated so long as you respect me as a parent and the wishes I have for the development of my children. The lack of respect I feel is appalling, you brag heartily about remembering birthdays (but you don't call) and the checks that were added to the cards, look at your bank account...never cashed. The reason behind it not being cashed is your money is not what we are after. I prefer your respect and understanding.

   The wedding topic is as such, you felt slighted and left. You left. End of story that simple YOU chose to leave your own son's wedding and that was a big enough blow in itself. The other actions since the wedding have been taken by me as the ultimate disrespect, refusing pictures of you and your son before you left the wedding, lack of apology and missing the birth of my son all taken personally and those were YOUR actions.

   We spoke today and you were spaztic and mean, I attempted to clearly and calmly express my feelings and how this situation is hurting the advancement of my family. I would like to put this nonsense behind us and move forward. The problem is our disagreements don't end and instead of accepting an emotional void stays in place. I wish nothing more than to just apologize for our past interactions that reflected negatively on the way we coexist and move ahead with an understanding I AM THE MOTHER. I AM THE WIFE. You are the grandmother.

Thank you for your time.